Do you withdraw your love when your relationship is tasting a bit like a dirt sandwich?
This is called emotional blackmail and it gives love a bad name!
But don’t worry , It’s not exactly your fault!
And it’s almost certain that we all do it on some level at some point in our journey.
This is simply because as a species we’ re built with such a strong sense of self-preservation that when the proverbial shit hits the fan our fight or flight sensors kick in and we lose our happy!
It is pretty much guaranteed, like death and taxes, that when we share our lives with someone else it’s not always gonna be all puppies and unicorns 24/7. Let’s remember that our bed of roses also houses some mean, mean thorns.
So what happens when we give in to these primal instincts whenever one of those thorns pokes the baby skin of our relationship? It erodes our bond!
The constant push and pull, breeds resentment, anger, and mistrust.
Whoah! Who wants to feel those things towards the person we’re the most intimate with? Well surly no one that’s who! And yet almost everyone does
And it only gets worse the more we use this most horrifying of weapons: withdrawing love.
So when you decide to withdraw love, what you are in fact doing is shutting down communication while elevating a cold iron wall and basically turning the water supply off to the magical hipster rooftop bio garden of your life! Drought city right?
What if there was a new approach you could try when you hit your next rough patch? What if this approach was just a change in your outlook?
Like trying to see your partner through the same love lens you use on positive days but for the crappy days too. Lens? (Yeah, we’re photo and video producers remember? J ) Basically what that means is the sweet angel that you love this morning is the exact same person as the despicable zombie monster you fight with later.
The person didn’t change and neither did you.
It’s your perspective that shifted.
Your loved one is easy to love when it’s easy to see them as lovable. It’s when the other facets show up in your field of vision that are more difficult to see as lovable that you feel like skipping town! It’s pretty sane to feel that way, but it’s not good for sustaining a long-term relationship! No one said that love was logical baby!
One thing for sure is that giving love only when things are good and withdrawing love when things are less then… well…it’s a recipe for bad love! And it “gives love a bad name”!