Today, we were out running errands in our hipster filled neighborhood, passing along the way various organic, grain fed, tattooed, fancy espresso fueled specimens of modern urban life such as ourselves, and as we usually do in these outings, we struck up a conversation with yet another friendly stranger. As the convo got a bit more personal and we went on to reveal our ages and various little things about ourselves, she became enthusiastically curious about how we ‘ve sustained our 30 year relationship this way. “ This way” meaning:“ Gosh, you guys look like you are still SO in love...”
Well thanks lady! Why, Yes we are!
And then she said: “it so easy to have to have all that excitement in the beginning when you first meet someone, but it fizzles out sooooo fast! How do you doooooooo it???”
Lady, if you are reading this, we are going to reveal to you one of the reasons why most of your love relationships end up in a pool of premature fizzle.
It’s because you’ve only been cultivating the short term sexy all this time!
Short term sexy is very easy to catch (like the common cold); you barely have to do anything at all to get it.
You get hit with it, your life is thrown upside down, you live for it, then you sneeze, and it’s all over. Just like that . You fell like a crap sandwich until you manage to scrape yourself back up again, promising to never let this happen again- until of course it does. And so on…
Well you, my friend are in the very predictable pattern of : pursuing the short term sexy!
The problem with this kind of connection is that it can only be temporary because it is way too intense to sustain.
It’s not that short term sexy is wrong or bad but it needs to transition into long-term sexy. Otherwise it burns out like a cheap light bulb, never to be turned on again. Pardon the pun (was that a pun?).
For example the short-term kind can involve a pillow fight in the buff culminating in an all night wingding…
While the long-term kind can be fresh vanilla/lavender smelling sheets just because it’s Tuesday.
Short term may be oysters and Champagne while long-term looks like perfectly sliced avocadoes, olives and Greek feta on Sunday afternoon.
Short term Sexy might be dancing all night with each other in your tightest /shortest or most revealing garbs.
While long-term is grabbing your loved one as you’ve crossed each other in the hallway of your home and pausing for a long sweet full body hug as you breathe each other in.
Short term sexy makes your heart skip a beat, and long term sexy makes your heart feel swell.
The beauty of long term sexy is that it can never run out of steam because what inspires it is your couple’s well being. And what fuels it, is full on committed love, taking care of each other and tending to the little things that makes everyday a little more magical for each other.
The wonderful thing is that since it rests in the comfort of knowing that you are cultivating the long-term bond, the sizzle and spark of the short-term kind is just a pillow fight away baby!