How to control the way you are loved.
Did you know that you have absolutely no control over how your life partner loves you? Over how he or she expresses it (or not), how much they care, how much they think about you … You can’t do a damn thing about it because of one simple truth, someone else’s emotions are not your own and therefore not under your own jurisdiction.
You can create the illusion of control and you can intimidate someone to act a a certain way, (the most skilled among us can even train the other person to respond in specific ways when applying pressure in just the right manner…
But, alas, these are only ephemeral manifestation of the grand illusion and are not solid enough to create the true lasting solid bond that successful long-term relationships really require.
In Love as in life, you can only have true power over just one thing : yourself.
You can’t dictate your lover’s mind, body or spirit, you can’t make their heart beat at an elevated rate, just because you want it to.
But you can control your own actions and reactions for example you have total control as to how bright you shine for your loved one.
You have control on how intensely you caress them; you determine how obvious it is that your eyes get brighter whenever they walk into the room.
You choose how many times you tell them they are the most incredible person you ever met. You pick how many times you squeeze their hand trying hard to warm the skin of their palm with the heat of your intention.
You are in control of how many amazing memories you choose to solidify the foundations and walls of the love palace you are building together, you also choose how many of the negative experience will be bagged up and thrown out with tomorrow’s trash! Knowing that how the other person responds is entirely up to them you control the fact that you will not stop being your best for them.
You are also the one who can determine if resentment will be the slow silent death of your days together. You can pick how many ways you let your heart get colder because you are waiting for the other to warm it up by bowing to the alter of you ego.
You can choose to poison your relationship with the nectar of : the oh, so lethal fruit called jealousy. You can certainly choose to be too busy to repair the neglect engineered by the mounting stress and the so important demands of work and life.
You can prefer to add another brick to the wall you have been carefully building with silence and avoidance.
Yes! Be all that you can be! You are in control of: you!
imagine how much pressure can accumulate by trying to control someone elses emotions. Especially knowing deep down that we really can’t.
Wouldn’t it be much more productive to focus energy on our own heart, mind, and body and using these instruments to express all the love that we feel for our partner, in better and better ways?
We bet that you’d become a more authentic and energetic person to be around, your personal magnet attracting the purest and brightest love. We can even imagine that you would become more and more lovable !
(things that make you go hmmmmm…)
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