Ever had to swallow a jagged little pill administered by none other than the one you love?
If you ever have, you know how hard it is to go down.
There may be a time that we are faced with an issue we created thru our own doing and our partner holds us accountable for it .
Our first response might be to fight back! “What the f*ck do you mean, I did this (or that?) Well what about you? You always… (Please quickly insert your personal favorite rebuttal here)”
Second response might be diving your head deep in the proverbial sand fallowed by resentment, sprinkled with a good dose of passive aggressive behavior until the issue runs it’s course.
Third and best response, according to the folks behind The Real Love Blog (who have, by the way, weathered thru together just about everything in the book), is to really listen to what your partner is trying to express.
Sure it might not be delivered in the most courteous speech style. And unless your significant other has some degree in psychology, chances are they’re doing their best to express something deep that they don’t exactly have a handle on themselves, especially since most issues are built on layers upon complicated layers. They are not born overnight and those suckers like to build momentum. If and when left unattended there is a huge chance that they will blow out of proportion and do unnecessary damage when they do decide to pop their ugly head out!
A successful relationship is not a straight and narrow road. It is a kind of winding road with unexpected pumps and forced stops along the way.
With the risk of using that overly referenced metaphor: It is a journey. During that journey there will be times like these when you have to breathe and count to ten, and actually listen to what the universe is attempting to teach you thru the words of the person that you love.
Think to yourself for a moment. Are they intentionally trying to insult you? Are they completely unreasonable? Are they 100 percent wrong? If the answers are no, then the clock clearly says that it’s retrospect time baby!
Ok so once you figure it out, there is no need to harp on any negative vibes. Just swallow that medicine along with your pride, and get your butt in gear! Whether the issue is unhealthy habits, procrastination, lack of communication or always leaving your towel on the floor, accept that your life partner loves you enough to try to articulate the problem to you and that they are asking you to change for your own good and the good of the relationship! If it’s a positive change they are asking for, then why resist it and insist on sticking to your old ways? Those ways are not really working for you, are they?
We know change is freaking hard as F… We’ve talked about it before on the TRLB, but if your old ways are not doing you any favors on the relationship front, chances are those same issues might be cramping your style in other aspects of your life as well. You deserve better! We know that you can do it.
So start right away, create a plan, make a list, take that first step!
Sometimes just writing it down can help you see more clearly.
Whatever you do, resist the urge to fall into the “what about you” syndrome. Swallow the pill, take the steps, fallow thru and resist any retaliation. That’ s not what this is about!
This is about becoming the best that you that you can be, and to be able to create the best relationship that you can have! We all come with great and not so great attributes. The wonderful thing is that we all have the power to improve ourselves. So if you find yourself on the receiving end of some harsh but true criticism from your loved one, think of it as an amazing opportunity to see yourself thru a fresh pair of eyes and be inspired by it to become your greatest self!